


Lights and Deflections

by lost_spook



Category: Sapphire and Steel
Genre: Community: hc_bingo, Elemental Weirdness, M/M, Telepathy, Trope Bingo Round 2, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-26 15:25:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/967567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_spook/pseuds/lost_spook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steel sees this as a means to an end, Silver as the path to a beginning.  It’s a little more complicated than it ought to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lights and Deflections

**Author's Note:**

> For Hurt/Comfort bingo square "Trust Issues" and Trope Bingo square "Rivals to Lovers". 
> 
> (The promise to have this encounter was made at the end of a previous fic [The Cornfield](http://archiveofourown.org/works/903373), but that's the only reference to that story, so this should stand or fall alone.)

Steel finds himself in a small, underground cave. He takes an uncertain step forward, and looks around him. It’s not as dark as it should be – there are tiny lights dotted about, reflecting in the water at the other end. He’s not sure how many – maybe a hundred at the most – but it took planning and preparation, and that fact causes Steel unexpected alarm. 

He’s come here to meet Silver, and he’s already wondering if that was a wise move. Sapphire seemed to think… Steel shrugs. Silver’s persistent and his proposals are intriguing, so it’s not unreasonable for him to be here, to have agreed. However, now that he’s here, he’s immediately distrustful and wonders why he let Silver choose the time and place; why Silver wanted to. 

“Silver,” he says, knowing the technician must be here somewhere, waiting for him. “What is this?”

Silver slips down from a rock ledge somewhere beside him. “Don’t you like it?”

Steel doesn’t answer. What else has Silver prepared? This kind of activity, in Steel’s mind, argues for a trap of some kind. He has, after all, agreed to join Silver alone in an isolated area. He hadn’t thought about that aspect of it till now. He doesn’t think Silver has any reason to betray him, but he doesn’t _know_. And there are always lurking dangers of one sort or another. Perhaps it isn’t even Silver here at all.

“Well, you didn’t want to blunder around in the pitch dark, did you?” Silver adds, more pragmatically, though he sounds resigned at Steel’s non-response. He also sounds very much himself, so Steel puts away that suspicion – temporarily, at least. “Or is it the cave? I merely thought it was safely way from –”

Steel glares at him until he falls silent. Then he takes a step near. “So, let’s get this over with.”

“I knew this was hardly going to be a terribly romantic assignation,” Silver says, impatience creeping into his tone, “but that’s blunt, even for you, Steel.”

“I didn’t mistake your intentions, did I?” Steel rounds on him. “And if that’s what’s intended, why waste time on unnecessary charades?”

Silver bites back private amusement. “Oh, quite, quite. I do see, Steel.”

“They’re very… thoughtful,” Steel manages in a clumsy attempt at conciliation. “The lights.”

Silver smiles. “Thank you, Steel,” he says and moves to stand in front of him. “If I may?” he asks and then at Steel’s curt nod, puts his hands to Steel’s head. Then he adds, mockingly, _Do tell me – how long do we have?_

“Silver,” Steel growls. Obviously, that wasn’t what he’d meant. There’s no point standing around when they both know what they're here for, that’s all. There’s also less chance of Silver throwing anything unexpected at him this way.

Silver gives a small, mocking gesture that somehow implies a bow, and then puts his hands back to Steel’s head again. Steel can feel the first approach of Silver in his mind, but there’s no time to respond to that, because that’s also when Silver leans further forward and kisses him.

Steel draws back sharply. “What was that for?”

“It would usually imply that I like you very much,” says Silver, becoming acerbic. “Just now I’m not at all sure that’s true. Steel, what exactly did you expect?”

“We’re exchanging information,” he says, and then tries to find a better way to put it, because he knows that doesn’t go deep enough. “Sharing our thoughts, ourselves. Anything else is superfluous.”

Silver gives him a quizzical look. “I thought this time we were doing things my way. This _is_ my way.”

“Just get on with it without any nonsense.”

Silver folds his arms, and then shoots him a look that Steel can’t quite interpret. “I see. In that case, Steel, go ahead. Explore my mind. See if you can do it in less than five minutes, why not?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” says Steel. He’s cautiously pleased that Silver’s seen sense, but suspects this isn’t the end of it. He advances on Silver and puts his hands on either side of Silver’s head, as Silver had to him moments earlier, and concentrates, ready to enter Silver’s mind.

However, when he tries, Silver simply isn’t there. Physically, he’s present, standing completely unmoving in Steel’s hold, but mentally he’s either shut away somewhere deep down or elsewhere entirely. Steel tries again several times, but it’s the same each time.

“Silver,” he says, eventually. “Stop it.”

There’s a long pause, and then Silver blinks. He raises his eyebrows at Steel. “Oh, you missed me, did you? I had the impression you would rather I wasn’t here.” 

“Maybe that would be better,” says Steel, breaking away from him. He’s irritated – Silver’s deliberately keeping too many things out of his control, and he won’t have it; he doesn’t want to play games. “What is this actually about, Silver? All this –” He gestures at the carefully chosen cave, safely away from any humans, and the lights. 

Silver stares at him. “I told you exactly what I had in mind. Nothing’s changed, Steel, but if you don’t want to be here, you can leave.”

“And you’ll just let me, will you?” Steel barks at him, moving in nearer and grabbing hold of Silver’s arm. “Is that part of your plan?”

“Steel, I really don’t see –!”

Steel tightens his grip. “What you’re proposing – there’s no logical gain for you in it, nothing to outweigh the risk you’re taking.”

“Risk?” says Silver, still baffled, or pretending to be.

“Yes. Bringing me here. So you must have an ulterior motive, a plan. That’s what all this is in aid of, isn’t it? What do you want, Silver?”

“No, really, Steel,” Silver says, but his irritation has gone and his confusion is beginning to be replaced by the glimmerings of an understanding that Steel doesn’t want to see. “Last time was different. And I don’t think you would deliberately hurt me, not without –”

“It doesn’t matter!” Steel snaps. He’s frustrated by Silver not taking threats seriously enough. He’s always claiming to be afraid of everything, but he never stops to look where he’s going, or think things through. “Logically, there is no real reason for me to be here, is there? Not unless I meant to take the opportunity to deal with _you_.”

For a moment, a look of alarm crosses Silver’s face, and then he shifts about, though not so much trying to tug out of Steel’s hold as to register a protest against it; that it hurts.

“You see?” says Steel, but then Silver laughs, and Steel releases him with a glare. “You’re never careful enough.”

Silver leans back against the rock wall and straightens his suit, flickering Steel a reproachful look for the manhandling. “Steel,” he says, and then laughs again as he moves forward. “It’s not at all logical! If you were here to destroy me, you wouldn’t _tell_ me first, I do know that much. Besides,” he adds, with a complacently appreciative glance down at himself, “whyever should you want to?”

“But this -?” Steel gestures outwards with his hand in frustration. “What is it _for_ , Silver? Why?”

“Oh, _Steel_.” Then Silver looks across at him. “I suppose, if you must think of it that way, then, yes, it is a trap, but a benign one. Do you understand?”

Steel looks around at the lights again, glimmering in the darkness. Each one a trail back to its source. He admires them; he wonders how they were made and why, and that leads him inevitably to Silver.

“You see?” says Silver, and beams at him. It’s almost as if, for a moment, he shines like one of his lights. “Don’t you like them?”

Steel does, but he’s uncomfortable even admitting that. He thinks about Silver’s words and gives a reluctant smile. “They’re a trap? And you’re attempting to –” He doesn’t care to frame the end of the sentence, either.

“To seduce you?” says Silver. “Well, given what the invitation was, and that you chose to accept it, then, yes. I hadn’t thought even you would make it so difficult.”

Steel turns around again. He _does_ like the star-like lights and feels awkward at his clumsy reaction to the offering. “It wasn’t a good idea. I’ll go.”

“Steel,” says Silver, and perches on a nearby rock. “Steel, _Steel_. Do you think you could simply sit down here and let me try things my way?”

Steel hesitates over whether to go or stay, and then decides that there’s only one way to bring this business to an end, and that’s to get it over with now. He walks across and sits down on the cave floor, leaning back against the same rock Silver is sitting on. “Well?”

“I’m afraid you may have to trust me,” says Silver, softly, and then he slips down from the rock to sit beside Steel, and they both look outward at the tiny lights reflecting in the water. Irrelevantly, Silver adds, “Before you arrived, I was passing the time by naming constellations.”

“They aren’t actual stars.”

Silver looks ahead again. “No. Very true.” Then he leans in against Steel; so close that Steel can sense Silver’s amusement without turning his head. Silver stretches out his hand and brushes Steel’s temple with the backs of his fingers, a light touch accompanied by a similar telepathic movement. His focus is on Steel, on what’s he’s doing, so it’s only distantly, incidentally, that he asks the question: “What exactly was it you thought I might _do_?”

“What?” Steel puts up a hand to catch Silver’s wrist. His first instinct to push him away, but he lets his hand rest there instead. He gives Silver a sidelong glance, but he can’t say it aloud. It’s Silver’s abilities to change things that he doesn’t entirely understand, the way he can take one thing in his hands and transform it into something else.

Silver’s eyes widen; it’s not something he had thought of in that light, clearly. Then he laughs again at the sheer unlikelihood of the idea. _I don’t meddle with perfection_ , he tells Steel. There’s both humour and affection in his thoughts as they wind their way round Steel’s.

Steel gives him a sceptical look, not about to fall for such outrageous flattery.

“Of a sort. In your own blunt way, of course –” Silver waves his free hand in frustration before he abandons such awkward attempts to communicate, and kisses Steel again.

Steel gives him a resigned look. _And why do you need to do_ that?”

“I don’t _need_ to,” says Silver. “Or, yes, perhaps I do. I examine things, Steel, and I take readings. You know that. And if I also want to take pleasure in the process – well, where’s the harm in that?”

Steel grudgingly admits to himself that there’s logic in the explanation, and so returns the favour, experimentally. Silver’s enjoyment of the simple act is an unfamiliar warmth in his mind. He’s curious enough to try it again and feels clearly Silver’s very distinctive reaction of amusement and delight in response. _You’re ridiculous_ , Steel tells him, but there’s a part of him that’s flattered to be able to produce such a reaction in the other.

 _Am I_? Silver gives him a wicked glance, and in payment for the insult, puts his other hand to Steel’s face, and then runs his fingers down from his cheek, down his neck, along the shoulder of his suit – he’s examining him, reading him. Steel sees in his mind flashes of something – of himself, he supposes – too fast to assimilate, and in between there are edges of darkness, of assignments he’s put behind him, of Sapphire… He won’t let Silver have it all his way, though, and he moves into Silver’s mind and thoughts in return, trying to uncover something of how the technician works.

Silver laughs, running his hands on down the front of his shirt, still reading him. His thoughts elude Steel – as Steel presses in on Silver’s mind, suddenly it’s more like a hive of sparkling, dancing silver motes, impossible to pin down or grasp, though he tries repeatedly as he moves further in. 

The tiny pieces of Silver are getting into Steel’s mind now, everywhere. It’s not unpleasant, but he’s still wary, uncertain of Silver and the thoughts Silver’s presence prompts in him.

In return, he attacks on both fronts: mental and physical. He grabs Silver forcibly and pins him down against the rock floor, pressing his hands against Silver’s head and then kissing him, meaning to get beyond the forefront of his mind while he’s distracted by that, but it’s a move that backfires. He feels Silver’s initial shock and then his intense pleasure and satisfaction at Steel’s interest in him. Steel’s less used to such things than Silver; it disorientates him and when he finally tries to get at Silver’s mind again, he finds he’s encircled in mirrors. His first instinct is to smash his way out, but he remembers where he is, what he’s doing and holds back.

 _You have been planning this, haven’t you_? Steel says and it’s not an accusation; it’s almost admiration, or as near to it as he gets.

Silver smiles back up at him. _You make it sound so cold-blooded. Perhaps I’ve just been dreaming about it for a very long time._

_You’re being nonsensical. Even you don’t dream._

_Come on, Steel_ , says Silver, drawing him back to the mental image of the mirrors. His tone is teasing. _What next?_

Steel draws back momentarily. The only way forward is the way Silver wants him to go and his instinct is to fight, to find his own way. But… _just try things my way_ , that was what Silver had said. He had asked Steel to trust him. And if Steel refused to play, he could freeze those dancing motes into stillness, he could shatter the mirror circle into fragments – and badly hurt Silver in the process. Steel doesn’t waste time on misguided concepts of what’s supposed to be fair and what isn’t, but he recognises what the just response is here, the only logical move: he follows Silver’s trail and walks through the first mirror.

They’re fully inside each other’s minds now. When he opens his eyes to see Silver looking back at him, the other’s eyes seem not merely grey but shining silver. He thinks he sees his own reflection in them. He shuts his eyes again and focuses on the mental exchange. He moves in metaphorical rooms, but what he sees is constantly shifting: one moment he’s looking at thousands of tiny cogs and wheels, vast, gleaming clockwork machinery, and the next he’s lost in complex circuit boards. Nothing he sees makes much sense to him.

He thinks to lure Silver further on into _his_ mind instead, and close down on him like a cage, but when he does, he finds he’s got nothing but silvery sand or dust, and it gets everywhere; there’s no barring its progress. _Silver!_

“Hmm?” says Silver, shifting on the ground beneath him. “What is it?”

Steel shakes his head. _Never mind_. They’re working together, he thinks. His mind feels clearer, sharper… He thinks about that, and then his mouth twitches in slight amusement. _Yes, all right, Silver. You’re useful. I had noticed._

“Not everything’s about efficiency,” says Silver, feigning innocence as he smiles at Steel. “I was just enjoying myself. I thought it was supposed to be a reciprocal arrangement this time.”

Steel doesn’t bother answering: he’s still puzzling over the workings of Silver’s mind and tracing the progress of Silver’s thoughts as they wind their way around his. It’s fascinating. 

“Steel,” says Silver, softly. “Steel.”

He leans in nearer. “Yes?” But it’s only another ruse: Silver winds his hands about his neck now that he’s close enough, and kisses him again. There’s a four-way echo of his enjoyment of the action in both their minds, and Steel’s suddenly sharply aware of every way in which they connect at this moment, physical and mental. It isn’t quite _enough_ , he thinks and wonders again what he can do to force the technician to show him more.

 _No_ , says Silver. _Like this. Didn’t I say you’d have to trust me?_ He moves his hands down to Steel’s collar and starts fiddling with his tie, undoing the knot.

Steel moves to dispose of the tie with a thought, but Silver forestalls him with a shake of his head. The tie is new, as always with his clothes – it has no dangerous history. But now as Silver touches it, he has information not usually available to him. He knows its constituent parts, the process of its manufacture: it’s machine made, silk and polyester, arriving on its sole inhuman owner already tied; it’s only now getting its first real use as Silver pulls it through his fingers and then discards it.

If Steel closes his eyes again, he can not only feel Silver’s movements, but see the cogs and wheels turn as he reaches his conclusions. He wants to push for more; he can see what’s happening, understand the end result, but not how it happens, how it’s done.

 _Certainly, Steel_ , says Silver, his voice in Steel’s mind alive with mischief. _What shall we try next – your jacket, the shirt, or –?_

Steel glares at him and then realises he’s broken the flow of the interchange between them. Then he stops to think and, rather than attempting any force, he kisses Silver’s forehead, awkwardly, but he’s trying, and Silver knows that. The technician’s appreciation of him, of his attentions, is like unexpected sunshine. He wants to make scathing remarks about ridiculous, exaggerated responses, but he doesn’t. 

The way forward is to play along with Silver’s game, and that’s becoming easier with each attempt. He makes his thoughts carefully appreciative of Silver, and strokes his hair, and then Silver’s acquiescent about his deeper mental probing. There’s a dark place he strays into and he feels Silver flinch, but he draws back from that. It’s not what he’s seeking, and more soothing thoughts, more small physical attentions keep Silver happy enough while he continues his exploration.

It’s a logic maze, he thinks, and easily solved, although harder for him to put into practice: when he attacks Silver or tries to force his way into his mind, Silver eludes him. When he stops to trust the path Silver’s left for him, he’s rewarded by Silver trusting him in return, opening up his mind and lowering his defences. _A bit obvious, isn’t it?_ he comments, knowing that Silver’s following his progress closely. As puzzles go, he thinks, it isn’t difficult to solve and it’s patronising.

 _I suppose I could have come up with an insoluble conundrum_ , Silver returns, _but that would have defeated my own objective._ He turns his head and smiles at Steel. Both the movement and his tone of voice are lazily affectionate.

Steel looks at him, but if there’s a metaphorical maze here, he’s made it to the centre, he decides. Silver’s defences are down, and he can turn the tables on Silver in any way he chooses, except – except – 

And now Steel is amused; he actually laughs aloud. He doesn’t _want_ to. One of the results of this process, of finally reaching vulnerable Silver, is in response an intense sense of protectiveness. “Silver,” he growls aloud. “This sort of thing won’t work, you know.”

Silver shakes his head at him and holds back more amusement.

“Well?”

“You’re assuming it’s my doing,” says Silver. 

Steel smiles at him. “A planned side-effect, then.” Silver’s got his own logic running underneath all that seemingly inexplicable behaviour. If he’s going to put himself at a disadvantage, he needs some protection. “I suggest you trust me,” he says, mockingly. “Wasn’t that what you said? Wasn’t that the intention?”

“I –” Silver halts and then looks at Steel, disconcerted for the first time. “What are you doing to do?”

Steel holds his gaze. _That’s beside the point, isn’t it?_

_I didn’t –_

No, thinks Steel, no doubt he didn’t, he just worked out the inevitable consequences of their actions before Steel and didn’t bother to tell him, because it suited him that way. Steel finds that a reasonable course of action, but right now, it’s irritating. He could shake Silver, if he wasn’t currently more inclined to stroke him.

Silver laughs again, catching that thought. Then he stops himself and gives a nod. _I suppose you’re right._

There’s the faintest underlying edge of humour behind his words that reawakens some of Steel’s wariness, but before he can say anything else, all the lights fade away around them. He has no more sensations of dizzying silver dust motes in his mind, mirrors, or delicate, complex machinery. There is only Silver, one being with inexplicable powers, and a long path through time that stretches back further than Steel knows, encompassed in a rather improbable and slight physical form which Steel is currently holding onto, possibly too tightly. What else he’s supposed to do, he suddenly has no idea.

 _… Improbable?_ says Silver after a pause. _No less improbable than yours, I think._

That much is true, Steel thinks and gives a brief grin in the darkness. He doesn’t let go of Silver: he wants answers. How old is Silver? What is his beginning? How does he operate? He wants to see that, not merely be expected to stand by and admire how pretty his inner workings are, even if Silver’s willing to return the compliment.

 _And I’m not to get anything out of this, am I?_ Silver queries. _I’m asking purely out of interest, of course. I can see it’s none of my business._

Silver’s had his fun, played his games – and maybe they were more… enjoyable than Steel had anticipated, though his mind still stumbles over that word – and now it’s time for the point of this exercise. Steel surveys Silver, more mentally than physically, weighing up his options, shielding his thoughts again and derails Silver’s attempts to follow him by making use of the tricks Silver’s shown him, touches of the mind and body, letting that sense of affection that has been wrought by the process cloud the gap between his actions and his intentions. 

He doesn’t want to damage either of them if it can be avoided, so he’s careful, but he uses his strength first, and now he raises his temperature – not crossing a line yet, but enough to give him the edge over Silver – and once he has that, then he can force what he wants out of Silver. And he’ll cross that line if need be. He always does if it comes to that.

Something of his intentions must have slipped through, as Silver makes a feeble attempt at a protest, a quiver of fear running through his being. Steel hesitates. He _doesn’t_ want to hurt Silver. He draws back, finding that sense of protectiveness, maybe even possessiveness, is still present in him. Is it logical to damage _his_ technician? Isn’t this enough, anyway? he wonders, as if all he’s done with his efforts is to soften himself, not Silver. 

“I said,” Silver tells him quietly, “it’s not my doing. And, Steel, it works both ways, you understand.”

Steel frowns at him, unsure of that, even now. “But you knew –”

“Of course I did,” Silver says, and Steel can feel his frustration before it falls away into resigned amusement. “As you said, it’s rather obvious, isn’t it? I thought it went without saying. And, well – you and Sapphire –” He cuts himself off and shoots Steel a wary look.

Steel shifts himself back into a sitting position. Sapphire’s different, he thinks. That’s another thing entirely. They’ve been together for a century; it’s only natural that they have the connection they do, that they trust each other, and everything else that goes with that. Silver moves far too quickly.

_Quickly? I’ve been trying for several ages, Steel. You’re very dense sometimes._

Steel turns his head, impatient with such nonsense. “Hardly, Silver. Decades, maybe, if you want to put it that way. Since Sapphire –”

 _You underestimate yourself_ , Silver says, but he’s evasive again, and then he leans across to Steel. “I thought you weren’t going to mention her. You kept me well away from any thoughts of her.”

He’s about to reply, but is distracted by the associations that flit through Silver’s mind: he catches a glimpse of Sapphire before he knew her well, a sudden passing image of candlelight and elaborate costume and laughter, before it’s gone again. He grabs hold of Silver, ready to chase the memory.

“No,” says Silver, putting up a hand to Steel, and shaking his head. “No. You’re quite right. I didn’t mean that – only that I wondered if I’d reached you at all. The rest can wait until we’re together – the three of us.”

Steel’s unsure which part of that to respond to, so he snaps at him instead. “Silver. You know this is only an experiment – an isolated effort to –”

“ _Is_ it?” says Silver, raising his eyebrows. “No, that’s not what I thought it was at all.”

There are still so many questions unanswered, and Steel’s not yet tired of the process of trying to uncover those answers. He’d try again, willingly – but, of course, that means it was a failure, wasn’t it? So what would be the point? 

“A failure?” says Silver and laughs, falling against him. _That depends on your point of view, Steel._ Then he shifts into a more comfortable position, still resting on Steel. _You wanted an ending, I suppose, but that wasn’t what I had in mind._

An ending. Yes, he had. Steel thinks again of what he nearly did with his last assault on Silver. He’s not sorry for it; he thinks Silver probably deserved it, but it does bring it home to him that he’s the one being impatient this time – and he tries to surreptitiously check that he didn’t hurt Silver.

“Oh, no, you didn’t,” says Silver, immediately picking up on Steel’s efforts. He smiles happily at the attention. “I rather liked it, you know, but it probably wasn’t all that _safe_. Next time, when Sapphire’s here, then we could –”

“Silver!”

The technician merely leans in nearer. _Oh. Well, I’m sorry, of course, if this affair was so very unpleasant for you._

Steel doesn’t bother to answer. Silver knows perfectly well what his reactions were. He stares ahead hard, into the darkness and it eventually occurs to him that there are things he should say. “It was all very…” He can’t find any appropriate words, so he nods outwards at the cave. “The lights, the rest of it. Very…” Grudgingly, he comes down to: “Effective.”

He expects Silver to be annoyingly smug, but the technician only smiles slightly and remains where he is, satisfaction radiating out of him. They’re finished now – this time – Steel acknowledges, and there’s no point in staying here any longer, but it seems unnecessarily unkind to dislodge Silver just yet, so he leans back against the cave wall and thinks instead about the sheer pointlessness of naming constellations of fairy lights.


End file.
